Getting Fired In An Awful Way…

Yesterday, I Showed Up For Work at My Part-Time Bartending Job & I Am Approached When I Get Out of My Car… Walking In The Parking Lot to the Front Door… I Was Stopped By The Bar Owner & Manager. I Was Told I Was Being Let Go or Fired. And They Needed My Keys.

Wait? WTF? Why? Now I Have Been There Part Time Since 2006-Only 12 Years of My Life. I Worked For My Family. I Was Blind Sided. Here I Am In The Parking Lot of Where I Used to Work (Was All Ready to Work My Night Shift, Etc.)  – In Shock. The Owner & Bar Manager Took My Bar Keys As I Am In Tears. The Owner Made Me Feel Ambushed/Attacked Coming Towards Me, Trying to Look Into My Purse & The Manager Stepped In & Said “Thats All She Has Is A Key to the Front Door.” For That, I Thank You. I Handed Over My Keys. I Did What Was Asked of Me. Why Am I Still Feeling Ambushed… All I Wanted to Do Was Escape.

This Type of Situation Is Not Easy for Anyone Involved. Especially When You Feel It Could Have Been Handled In A Much More Appropriate Way. Does It Matter Now? NO. What Is Done Is Done. Period. End of Story.

I Asked Why? And It Was A Very Legit Question As I Didn’t Have Any Clue… Still Don’t… I  Was Told Their Attorney Would Contact Me. The Bar Manager Did Show Me Kindness & It Not Go Unnoticed.

I Felt Like I Was Ganged Up On & Put on Public Display in the Parking Lot. Which Lets Be Honest, Is What Happened. Does It Hurt to Be Put On Public Display. YES. Was It Really Necessary? Probably Not – In My Opinion.

I’m Crying & In Shock. I’m Hurt & That’s Okay. Why Even Make Me Show Up To Work? I Could Have Been Called, Texted, Etc. I Was Available All Week-Literally. Yes, I Work & Have Busy Days, But I Could Have Always Made Time. I Didn’t Even Know This Was Coming. Obviously Being So Upset, I Just Walked Away & Got Back Into My Car. I Was Balling & There Was No Point In Having Me On Public Display Any Longer. I Feel This Is More Of A Private Affair – Not A Public One. But That Is My Personal Opinion.

Does This Sound Familiar? It Should… I Believe There Is A Post From July Where I Was Publicly Attacked/Blindsided at a Birthday Party, As Well… Is There Some Kinda Theme Going On Here?

The Manager Who Does Expenses, Payroll, Etc. Was Not There & I Did Text Her After All Of This Went Down. I Asked for The Attorneys Name & Phone No., So I Could Find Out Why I Was Being Fired. I Was Told:

I Would Not Be Receiving A Letter or Call From Their Attorney. What Was Explained to You Was That Is That Our Attorney Said We Don’t Have to Give You A Reason. Sorry You Felt Blind Sided – We Felt It Was Best to Do In Person. When You Lost Your Day Shift You Were Told You Were Put On Probation. That Probation for Saturday’s, Which Was Meant For You to Ship Up. That Hasn’t Happened.

What Probation? I Did Not Receive A Call, Chat, Letter, SOS Signal, Sticky Note, Text, Etc. NOTHING Mentioning Any Type of Probation. Also, The Bar Owned Told Me I’d Hear From Their Attorney-That Was What Was Explained to Me. Obviously There Were Some Communication Issues.

Regardless, It Doesn’t Matter Anymore. I’m Telling My Story of How I Felt Blind Sided & This Is Part of the Story.

The Day Shift:

I Over Slept. I Received 1 Text Saying My Shift Was Being Covered By Some Else. I Assumed As Punishment for Sleeping Through My Alarms. I Felt Shitty Enough As It Was – I Figured It Was A Way Of Taking My Income/Hours As A Penalty/Punishment. Then I Did Check In With The Bar Manager Via Text Apologizing – And Meant It.

Then I Receive A Text Later That Night:

Since She Trumps Responsibilities of Showing Up for Work. And You Didn’t Find It Important to  Call In When You Woke Up – Tuesday Will Be Covered by Someone Else From Now On.

Wait… What? I Received A Text Saying My Shift Was Covered. My Best Friend Called Me Which Woke Me Up & Needed Help for a Little Bit. Maybe 30 Min. Which I Had Time to Do As I Was Already Told My Shift Was Gone (Covered By Someone Else) Then I Texted In The Apology. No Mention of Any Type of Probation. I Didn’t Even Fight – I’m Not Into Drama or the Bullshit. And God Do People LOVE to Talk About Me. Maybe I Should Find It Flattering. The Only Thing Other People Have to Do In Life Is Start Drama? BAHAHA. Thank God I Don’t Live Your Life.

Mind Your Own Business – The Only Person Who Really Knows The Truth Is You. It Is What It Is. You Want to Take My Day Shift… Fine But Don’t Accuse Me Of Something I Didn’t Do. It Was An Accident. I Had Told the Bar Manager Before As Well That I Am Struggling with Anxiety, Depression & I Know I’ve Made Mistakes… I’m Not Saying That Haven’t… But Keep An Open Line of Communication Please. There Are Always Different Sides of the Story. I Guess Maybe I Just Felt Like Mine Didn’t Matter… It Hurts To Not Even Be Contacted With The Circumstances to Ask What Happened. Again… It Is What It Is.

Does This Matter Now – NO.

Also I Was Told:

There Were Calls To You Sunday & Monday & That You Never Responded. This Was The Only Way I Could Guarantee Talking to You. 

I Have A Text About Buckets. Period. There Are No Phone Calls Or Texts to Me What So Ever. Period. No One Tried to Contact Me. I Sent My Phone Logs, Text, Etc. And I Was Told Regardless I Was No Longer Needed. I Understand That. No Need In Repeating It. But Own Up to the Misunderstanding. I Was Getting Fired… But Lying to To Me About Contacting Me & Ambushing Me in the Parking Lot (Making a Scene) Was Just So Hurtful to Me & I Can’t Help How I Felt.

I Guess… I Just Thought That It Would Have Been Different With My Family… I Am Pretty Good At Compartmentalizing Family & Work. One Shouldn’t Affect the Other. Is It Always Easy – No.  People Get Hurt – Especially Those of Us With A Big Heart Who Are Sensitive.

Obviously There Were Some Communication Issues. Does it Matter Now – Absolutely NOT. Is This Post Putting Blaming Anyone or Anything – No. It Is Just How I Was Made to Feel.

Please Note… I Am Not Perfect! I Make Mistakes! I’m Human. I Struggle Along With Most Of Us in the World at Some Point in Time.  I’m Not Getting Into The Story Or Any Part Of It B/C It Doesn’t Matter. This Isn’t What This Is About. It Is What It Is. It’s The Past. I Just Wish That No One Else Should Have To Be Made to Feel This Way.

I Could Have Met With the Manager Who Does The Expenses, Payroll, Etc. I Could Have Went to Her House. She Is Family. I Could Have Met the Bar Manager Any Time or Any Place. Out of the All of the Employers I Have Ever Worked With… They All Have Had The Basic Decency to Have A Conversation With Me in Private. Was It An Easy Conversation – Absolutely Not. They Didn’t Make A Scene or Anything Like That But They Did Talk to Me. And I Appreciate That More Than Anything Right Now.

I Never Realized How Much That Meant to Me Until Last Night. I Want to Take This Time to Send A Shout Out To Any Employer I Have Ever Worked With in the Past… Thank You For Giving Me a Conversation. No Matter How Awkward or Awful It Was. You Will Never Know How Much It Meant To Me – Whether It Was A Mutual Agreement Or Downsizing The Office Due to the Lose of Million Dollar Clients. You Had The Courage To Talk to Me. And For That, You Are The Hero’s of This World. I Appreciated Your Time. It Does Not Go Un-noticed. Even If No One Thanks You At The Time… Because We Are Just Upset, In Shock, Or Anything Else… But We Respect You for That.

It Is Hard. People Get Hurt In Life. Some More Than Others.

Is This Post Intended to Offend Anyone… Absolutely Not. It Is What It Is. It Happened. Can You Change It? No. Should you Dwell On Anything In The Past – Absolutely Fucking Not. You’re Not Going That Way.

Move Forward. You Will Remember How People Made You Feel… But Let That Lesson Help You Bloom Into A Better Person…

Need Advice… Please HELP!

This Week A Friend Was In An Accident… I Spoke to My Brother About This Accident & Then He Brings Up My Blog… Saying To DELETE Any Post Containing Stuff About Family… He Said He Read It On Facebook But My Blog Doesn’t Share to Facebook…

I Told Him I Was Calling to Only to Discuss Our Friend. He Continued On & I Stopped Talking So He Went Back To The Convo We Were Having About Our Friend.

He Made Me Feel Awful & Barked Orders At Me. Like WTF?

This Blog Is Still Newer & I Am Wondering Who He Saw It From… I Didn’t Give Him the Link to It… Anyways, The Point Is…

I Do Not Think I Should Have to Take Them Down. This Blog is REAL – Real Life Adventures, Experiences, Hurt, Pain, Etc. And These Are Things That Have Happened to Me. I Am Telling the Truth & This is My Place to Tell My Story. I Am Not Trying to Make Anyone Look Bad, But I Am Not Going to Be Treated In Inappropriate Ways & Then Hide… This Has Been Going On Now for Almost Four (4) Years. This is the First I Have Told My Story Because Being Treated This Way Is Not Fair to Me & I’m Standing Up for Myself – I Know Its About Time!

What Do You Think? Please Let Me Know Your Feedback!

Darth Vader… Star Wars!

Yep. I love Star Wars! I’m a nerd and proud of it.

Years Ago, My Brother Was At The Bar I Work At With 2 Other Patron Who We’ve Grown Up Knowing. It Was A Slow Night & It Was Just the Four (4) of Us… Some How Star Wars Came Up & My Brother Made A Comment About Being Darth Vader! HA!

The Two Other Patron Started Cracking Up… They Were Like HA… If Anyone Is Darth Vader Its Your Sister. You Are Chewbacca (Chewy)…

Since Then I Call My Brother Chewy & He Calls Me Darth Vader… Occasionally I Still Get A Voicemail From Him… Hey Darth, Its Chewy, Call Me.

Check The Date On Food From Grandma’s House!!!

My Aunt & I Are Sitting In Rocking Chairs/Recliners in My Grandma’s Living Room. We Are Discussing What Sounds Good for Dinner. We Came Up With Lasagna. I Asked If Grandma Had Any Pans Frozen?

My Aunt… She Probably Does Have One, But We Will Need to Check the Date… I Think It Is From 1996. BAHAHA… God Did We Laugh. It Is One of the Most Important Things In Life – To Be Happy & Laugh!

Who Else Has A Grandma Like This?

My Real Dad…

My Brother & I Haven’t Seen or Heard From Our Real Dad for Most of Our Lives. Our Parents Divorced When We Were Babies. My Brother, John & I Have Always Said When We Want to Find & Meet Him, We’d Do It Together.

Approx. the End of April, Beginning of May, My Brother Dropped A BOMB on Me. He Said He Hired A Private Investigator to Find Our Dad. He Found Him & John Had Spoken to Him on the Phone. John Said He Wanted to Meet Him & Our Dad Was Really Excited For That.

First, I was in Shock. Why Didn’t He Tell Me? Obviously I was a Little Upset. John Came Over on a Sunday to Talk to Me About It. He Said He Was Going to Meet Him. He Was in Southern, IL. I Wasn’t Sure How I Felt, But Knew I Wanted to Go With My Brother. As It Really Only Involves Us. John Told Me He Was Taking His Family: Wife No. 2 and the 2 Kids. I Told Him I Wanted to Go.

John Said That He was Going With Just His Family. He Has A Separate Family Now & I’m Not Part of It. I Wasn’t Invited to Go. He Said He’d Go First, Find Out How He Is & Everything, Then Would Let Me Know.  Also, That He Would Take Me Back Down in Like 2 Weeks If I Wanted to Go.

My Brother Went to Visit Our Dad. John Came Home, Said That I Should Call or Go See Him. I Again Said That I Wanted to Go With John. John Said He Has to Work & Can’t Take Me a Couple of Months Now. Umm… Really? You Can Time Off Work to Go, But Can’t Do the Same For Me. By the way, Our Dad is Approx. 6 Hours South of Us. A Place Where I Know No One. I Couldn’t Go Alone. Obviously There Was Some Serious Hurt & Pain Associated With This.

A Couple Weeks After My Brother Met Our Real Dad… We Received His Obituary. He Had Died the Previous Week from Congestive Heart Failure. My One & Only Opportunity to Met Him Had Been Taken Away From Me.

I Am Still A Ball of Emotions. I Texted My Brother:

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So, Wife No. 2 Made The Call? I Don’t Know For Sure, But That is the Only Person Who Doesn’t Like Me In His Sperate Family. Side Note: I Am Always Civil With Her, Even When She Is Not To Me.

And Then John Accusing Me of Starting Drama? I Don’t Think Expressing Myself is Considered Drama. You Can Find The Most Current Post Under In-Laws… Nasty or Nice?

This Affected John & I. Period. I Know He Prob. Wanted His Kids to Have A Chance to Meet Him and I Do Understand That; However, Not Inviting Me To Meet Our Real Dad Is Awful.

John & I Have Always Had Each Other’s Backs. It Doesn’t Matter, We Are Family. Unfortunately, This Broke My Heart. John Did Offer to Talk to Me the Day After We Exchanged The Above Texts (Which Were The Same Day We Received the Obituary). I Couldn’t Go. I Am Angry, Hurt & Feel Betrayed by the One Person I Was Always Supposed to be Able to Count On. Honestly, I Still Am. He Broke My Heart. For the First Time, In My Life, I Don’t Think I Can Count on John to Have My Back. I’ve Always Had His.

Were Do You Go From Here. We Still Talk, But Not About Anything of the Above. I Am Not Ready. I Know It Will Take A Long Time for Me to Heal… But Do You Stop Helping Him? I Rarely Even Get to See Him. He Works A Lot to Support his Family. I Am Not Sure… I Just Know This is a Really Shitty Situation for Me to Even Have Been Put In.

Monster-In-Law… Christmas 2017…

My Brother’s 2nd Wife, Had My Niece on December 18th, 2017. We Got Together for a Family Lunch Approx. A Week After Christmas. This Was Our Family Christmas. We Made A Lot of the Food & Took It Over, As Well, So That There Was No Extra Effort Put on My Brother’s Family With the New Baby. We Cleaned Up All of the Food, As Well As Left Some for Them. I Got There, My Grandma Was Holding My Niece & She Wanted to Eat Lunch With Everyone Else. I Wasn’t Hungry So I Took My Niece. I Was Told, By the 2nd Wife, That She Doesn’t Need to Be Held All of the Time. This was the 2nd Time I Held Since She Was Born at the Hospital.

I Wasn’t Hungry & I Wanted to Hold Her. She is My Niece. After Maybe 5-10 Min. My Brother Came & Took Her Away From Me. He Told Me To Eat & I Replied I Am Not Hungry. He Put My Niece Down In A Round Half Pillow Thing on the Couch.

No One Was Allowed to Touch My Niece Again for the Rest of the Day.

It Was A Very Uncomfortable Situation. I Was Made to Feel Very Unwelcome by Wife No. 2. It Felt Like We Were Inconveniencing Her, Since She Had to Spent Some Time With Our Family.

Wife No. 2 Told Us Around the Beginning of December That They Didn’t Want to Do Gifts This Year, With the Expense of the New Baby. I Don’t Know If This Was With Just Our Family or Hers, As Well. That Was Fine; However, I Starting Buy Christmas Gifts In October, If Not Before. Of Course We Were Getting Gifts for the Kiddos. When We Opened Gifts, She Rolled Her Eyes. There Wasn’t Even A Thank You. My Mom Had To Ask If She Liked Her Gift. I Had Gotten Her A Little Gift As Well, Since I Bought Them In October, for Her Christmas Gift. It Wasn’t Anything Super Expensive: a Mini Cheesecake Pan (In A Color She Likes) and Hand Knitted Wash Clothes – Which By the Way Are My Favorite! It Was Just The Thought That Counted, But She Didn’t Seem Pleased.

I Went to the Garage With My Brother. We Were Hanging Out, Like we Used Too. Then My Brother Goes in the House & Comes Back Out Saying Wife No. 2 is Bitching Up A Storm About Me. Good Lord, What Now? So I Started To Cry… Like It Doesn’t Seem to Matter What I Say Or Do…

So I Was Like I’ll Just Leave. Side Note: The Garage With My Brother Is Where I Feel Comfortable At That House. My Brother Said He’d Come With Me. We Went to a Relatives House and Played Cards for Maybe 2 Hours and Came Home.

Side Note: My Brother & I Used Be Best Friends… Even With Wife No. 1. So The Fact I Get See Him & Want to Spend Time With Him is Just Natural.

The In-Laws… Nasty or Nice?

I was at a Birthday Party, for a beautiful 5-year-old. I LOVE Her! As we are in the Upper Midwest (IL) and it was a super-hot/humid day. They had a bouncy house with a water side and a little pool at the end of it, for the kids. They have a nice pole barn with a Bar, Patio, etc. I was inside relaxing having a beer with family/friends. I saw that my brother arrived. I was so happy to see him at the party with his family, as they rarely attend family events. I went out on the patio, where they were located. I chatted with my brother for a second. Then I looked to the Left, where his 2nd wife was sitting with my Niece (7 Mo. Old). My Nephew is a 3-year-old, who was already playing in the bouncy house with the other kids. I said Hi. Then I took a couple steps to the side of the stroller, where my Niece was sitting. I am barely at the edge of the stroller, trying to saying Hi to my Niece-I did not try to pick her up, touch her, etc. I just wanted to say Hi. My Brothers current (2nd) wife, said Amanda, No. I looked up at her confused. She said I wasn’t allowed to say Hi to my Niece. And That I Wouldn’t be saying Hi to my Nephew, either. If only I had a photo of her face. She had this nasty look on her face and it was not flattering at all. But that’s not my business. I said I was just saying Hello, which is showing polite, basic human curtesy. I was taught etiquette and manners, as well as, to be the bigger person, which can be challenging, in this situation. I walked away, like WTF?

I couldn’t even… This is my family’s event… You are in public. How does that add up in her brain? It doesn’t make sense… If you don’t want people to talk to you or your children, stay home. Period. I Can’t Even…

Plus, who treats children like property? All she repeatedly would say is “My Children” – Last Time I checked… It takes two to make a baby… By the way, my brother borrowed money from me the week before, so they had money for gas, groceries, etc. BAHAHA! Yup. Cut of the hand that helps you…

Is she bi-polar? Having a mental breakdown? Psychopath? Drugs? I have no idea.
I haven’t seen her in a couple of months… The last time I saw her and the kids, I was called off work and my Mom was there, so I stopped by. I do not go around her, without a witness, as she has screamed at me like a psychopath for trying to open a Birthday Present I got for my Nephew (Prob. BC She wanted to return it for Money – That Story to Come). We did not stay long. I played with my Nephew & held my Niece. By the way, I can count on one hand the times I’ve gotten to see to my niece, since she was born in December. I have no idea what is going on… HA!

I didn’t bother to ask. I just walked away, as most of the time she is quite mean. She can be mean to my family, my mom and especially me. Obviously, were not best friends but I am civil to her and I try to see her as little as possible, as petty bullshit like this is what drama she causes… Maybe she lives for pettiness… I want no part of it.
I have a best friend who says I need to keep fighting her wicked ways so I can see my niece and nephew, but I really don’t want too. I come from a very large family, who has always had an open-door policy. She is obviously not like that. I have tons of little ones I see on the regular and spend time with. I consider my cousin’s children my niece and nephew, anyways. Does this make me a bad person? What would you do? I am not going to take her abusive, cruel, threatening ways. I am better than that.

I have had people say to me before, “Come on, you can’t be serious?”

This is my life. My Outlet. Yes… This is all true! I can’t make this stuff up. More to come!

If you have an in-law like mine, keep doing you! This is your Life!