My Real Dad…

My Brother & I Haven’t Seen or Heard From Our Real Dad for Most of Our Lives. Our Parents Divorced When We Were Babies. My Brother, John & I Have Always Said When We Want to Find & Meet Him, We’d Do It Together.

Approx. the End of April, Beginning of May, My Brother Dropped A BOMB on Me. He Said He Hired A Private Investigator to Find Our Dad. He Found Him & John Had Spoken to Him on the Phone. John Said He Wanted to Meet Him & Our Dad Was Really Excited For That.

First, I was in Shock. Why Didn’t He Tell Me? Obviously I was a Little Upset. John Came Over on a Sunday to Talk to Me About It. He Said He Was Going to Meet Him. He Was in Southern, IL. I Wasn’t Sure How I Felt, But Knew I Wanted to Go With My Brother. As It Really Only Involves Us. John Told Me He Was Taking His Family: Wife No. 2 and the 2 Kids. I Told Him I Wanted to Go.

John Said That He was Going With Just His Family. He Has A Separate Family Now & I’m Not Part of It. I Wasn’t Invited to Go. He Said He’d Go First, Find Out How He Is & Everything, Then Would Let Me Know.  Also, That He Would Take Me Back Down in Like 2 Weeks If I Wanted to Go.

My Brother Went to Visit Our Dad. John Came Home, Said That I Should Call or Go See Him. I Again Said That I Wanted to Go With John. John Said He Has to Work & Can’t Take Me a Couple of Months Now. Umm… Really? You Can Time Off Work to Go, But Can’t Do the Same For Me. By the way, Our Dad is Approx. 6 Hours South of Us. A Place Where I Know No One. I Couldn’t Go Alone. Obviously There Was Some Serious Hurt & Pain Associated With This.

A Couple Weeks After My Brother Met Our Real Dad… We Received His Obituary. He Had Died the Previous Week from Congestive Heart Failure. My One & Only Opportunity to Met Him Had Been Taken Away From Me.

I Am Still A Ball of Emotions. I Texted My Brother:


So, Wife No. 2 Made The Call? I Don’t Know For Sure, But That is the Only Person Who Doesn’t Like Me In His Sperate Family. Side Note: I Am Always Civil With Her, Even When She Is Not To Me.

And Then John Accusing Me of Starting Drama? I Don’t Think Expressing Myself is Considered Drama. You Can Find The Most Current Post Under In-Laws… Nasty or Nice?

This Affected John & I. Period. I Know He Prob. Wanted His Kids to Have A Chance to Meet Him and I Do Understand That; However, Not Inviting Me To Meet Our Real Dad Is Awful.

John & I Have Always Had Each Other’s Backs. It Doesn’t Matter, We Are Family. Unfortunately, This Broke My Heart. John Did Offer to Talk to Me the Day After We Exchanged The Above Texts (Which Were The Same Day We Received the Obituary). I Couldn’t Go. I Am Angry, Hurt & Feel Betrayed by the One Person I Was Always Supposed to be Able to Count On. Honestly, I Still Am. He Broke My Heart. For the First Time, In My Life, I Don’t Think I Can Count on John to Have My Back. I’ve Always Had His.

Were Do You Go From Here. We Still Talk, But Not About Anything of the Above. I Am Not Ready. I Know It Will Take A Long Time for Me to Heal… But Do You Stop Helping Him? I Rarely Even Get to See Him. He Works A Lot to Support his Family. I Am Not Sure… I Just Know This is a Really Shitty Situation for Me to Even Have Been Put In.

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